I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
