Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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