Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
