dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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