some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
