i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
