I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
