i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
