I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
