for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
