We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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