i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
