those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
