We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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