your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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