Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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