In the future we'll all be gay
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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