i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
