What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My feet surprised me
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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