Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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