We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
