he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
