After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize