So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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