so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
