Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
