he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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