i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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