Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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