Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize