do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
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