I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
