I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
