i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I want a musical about memes.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
