I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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