the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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