I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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