it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My vagina just clenched in fear
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
