it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
