I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
