11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
being pregnant is like rehab
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
