we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
