You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
