I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
