I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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