Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
