scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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