The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
