She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
