I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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