scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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