She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
