I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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