I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I didn't notice because vodka
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
