last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize