So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
