ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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