Michael Bay diarrhea
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
