Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
love makes seman taste better
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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