he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
