The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
