I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
