a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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