State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
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Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
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All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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