Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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